The right people

The ones who have a kind of freedom I want.

I never really looked for people who were just "smarter" than me. Instead, I was drawn to people who had a kind of freedom that I didn’t.

When I think about the people who have made the biggest difference in my life, they weren’t always the ones with the best degrees or the highest IQs. They were the ones who had a kind of freedom I wanted — whether that was creative freedom, emotional freedom, or just the ability to relax and not overthink everything.

I knew someone who never worried about money — who took risks on projects without freaking out. Another person could talk to anyone with confidence while I second-guessed every word I said. A designer friend trusted their instincts instead of doubting themselves. An entrepreneur I knew made quick decisions while I sat and debated for way too long.

Being around them wasn’t always easy. Sometimes, it made me notice my own weaknesses. But that discomfort meant I was learning. Being around people who make you feel a little less sure of yourself can be tough, but if you let it, they help you grow.

Ribbonfarm explains it well:

"They are people who are playing just a slightly different game than you are. That difference makes them a reliable source of unpredictability in your life."

And that’s important — when people think differently from you, it pushes you to grow.

Finding the right people isn’t easy. For a long time, I had lots of friends but very few who truly understood me. Eventually, I realized that the best people make you feel both free and safe. Safe enough to say what’s on your mind. Free enough to take risks. Enough to change, knowing they’ll still be there for you.

To find those people, start small. Find just one person first. They don’t have to be in your city. They might be someone you meet online. Someone whose work inspires you, whose thinking challenges you, whose confidence you admire. Someone who, just by being themselves, shows you what’s possible.

I’ve been changed by people like that. By how they work, how they organize their days, how they handle failure. By how they notice beauty in places I never thought to look. Lately, I’ve started to see beauty in people — not in their looks, but in the way they carry themselves. Confidence, kindness, curiosity, and boldness shine like a kind of light.

There’s a quote I love: "Realizing someone is beautiful in a way no one you've ever met is beautiful — and because of that, they've expanded your understanding of beauty forever." That’s what great people do. They don’t just teach you things. They change how you see the world. And once you find one of these people, you realize you can find more.

Finding them is hard. But they are out there. You just have to look.